Best Man Speech Jokes - Sample

Here are some sample best man jokes. Thirteen, hilarious and risky ones!

Hi! My name’s Mike, and I’m Ed’s best man. Ed has incentivised me today and said that if I do a good job, I can be the best man at his next wedding!

Zara looks absolutely stunning today and deserves a round of applause. As for Mike - well… he looks stunned!

I’ve been nervous about this speech and this isn’t the first time today I’ve risen from a warm seat holding some paper!

What an emotional day it’s been today… even the wedding cake is in tiers.

I’ve known the groom for years, and  he’s my best mate. He’s loyal, funny and always there when I need him. Just a shame he’s a liar, a cheat, and a thief. But it’s too late now.

The groom and I have been mates since kids. We’ve shared our food at school, shared toys, shared memories and now we are sharing a wife! Just kidding, just kidding. She’d drive me mad.

I’m delighted for the bride and groom today. They match perfectly and have so much on common. They both love football, travelling, and watching films. They also both hate me. (Pause) No, seriously, they do.

The bride looks FABULOUS today. She’s radiant, gorgeous, and absolutely glowing. The groom, on the other hand, looks like he needs 50p for a cuppa.

I’d like to raise a glass to the happy couple. May they have a happy marriage, filled with fun and love. And may they never find out what the bride and I got up to on her hen night! Cheers!

The groom and I have been mates since kids. But, he’s fallen on hard times, bad luck and made some very poor choices. But today is not about his ex - let’s focus on his wife!

I’ve known the groom since being a kid and he’s always been a joker and a blagger. But today I’m here to congratulate him on his blag yet… convincing this beautiful lady to marry him.

A best man speech should last the same time as it takes for the groom to make love…. that’s me done then. cheers to the bride and groom!

A husband should be someone that is loyal, caring, sincere and honest. But today isn’t about me, so let’s forget that.

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