A Funny Best Man Speech Template

• "I'm so happy to be here today to celebrate the marriage of my dear friend, [groom's name], and his lovely bride, [bride's name]. I've known [groom's name] for many years, and I can honestly say that he's the kind of guy who would steal your girlfriend and then apologise for it. He's also the kind of guy who would never let you down, no matter what. So, [bride's name], you're in good hands. Just don't let him out of your sight."

• "I know what you're all thinking: 'Why is the best man telling jokes?' Well, it's because I'm not allowed to give a speech. The groom said that if I did, he would have me arrested. So, I'm just going to have to settle for telling jokes. And I promise, they're all clean."

• "I've been asked to share some of my favorite memories of [groom's name]. But I'm having trouble deciding which ones to tell. There are so many good ones. Like the time he got drunk and threw up on my shoes. Or the time he cheated on his math test. Or the time he got arrested for public intoxication. But those are all just stories. The real reason I'm so happy for [groom's name] is because he's finally found someone who can put up with him. So, to [bride's name], welcome to the family. And to [groom's name], congratulations. You've finally found your match."

• "I've heard that there's a sweepstakes going on to see who can guess how long the best man's speech will be. Well, I just went for 35 minutes. So settle in."

• "For those of you who don't know me, my name is [best man's name]. And for those of you who do know me, I apologize. My full name is actually '[best man's name]-would-you-like-a-drink'. So, if you see me in the bar later, please use my full name."

I hope you find these gags funny!